3 In Life/ Parenting

Life is Messy. {A note to all the Mamas}

Happy hump day everyone, I hope you got to enjoy a small break with your families this weekend. To all the Mamas out there, I hope you also got to put your feet up for a while and take in the love of your babies.
Today I planned on sharing with you our second step for getting the beams of your dreams, but after some deliberation, I feel like sharing some pictures and a little pep talk might be what some of us need after a jam packed weekend.
If you have been following along here for long enough then you know I like to keep things real. I share during photos, messy photos and before photos and in my earlier days as a blogger I wore my heart on my sleeve a lot of the time.
These days I have lots of heart to heart things I would love to share, but honestly, there is just not enough time in the day to run a business, a house hold and then complete all the unfinished projects we have happening over here.
But, I still want to be transparent.
So, my sweet friends, after hearing this weekend by a well meaning friend that my life looks “pulled together” I thought I would tear up that false persona and show you this:
THIS is what our home has recently looked like for months and months…
NO wonder we lost my daughters first grade homework more than actually handing it in.
I love pretty pictures as much as the next decor loving person, but I never want someone looking into our lives and thinking that we have it all together. 
Cause, CLEARLY that’s not the case.
In case you feel like you’re not measuring up to everything you read and saw on social media yesterday, in case your babies wouldn’t sit still for a picture with their Mama on the only day you really really wanted a picture together, in case you feel inadequate at times, in case you wonder how you are even surviving until bedtime and in case you doubt your abilities and your strengths. I’m popping in today, here, to say that we have ALL been there.
Life is messy.
Mother hood is messy.
and that’s OK.
Perhaps its time that you get a glimpse of other peoples messes so you don’t get the false impression that people who share their life on the Internet have it all together.
We don’t.
These pictures were snapped by me, a Mama who was losing her mind during the messy portions of this renovation and was done rubbing her feet up against raw saw dust in her bed every night.
Seriously. True story.
This was a time when my eyes itched from all the messy. You know what I mean? Or could it have been from all that insulation distributed in piles all over the house? Whatever the case, these were not the moments I planned on sharing with the world. 
These were the times when the windows were drawn and visitors weren’t permitted.
This was during the time when we were in the middle of building our kitchen island, what would be the center of our home — maybe, one day, perhaps.
These were the times that I wanted to share with you then, but there seemed like no end in sight. How lack luster would it have been to show you these photos and then two months later for you to see the SAME messes, just in different piles. 😉
For some reason that reminds me of life and relationships and motherhood.
We often hold others at an arms length. We draw the curtains and don’t share the messes. At times we carry on as if life is as normal and tidy as always when in actuality we may spend two hours a night looking for the misplaced homework papers or perhaps searching for our sanity.
Perhaps if we shared our messy moments more, physically and figuratively, we would find greater connection with each other. Perhaps if we knew that other Mamas struggle with keeping it all together than maybe we would offer ourselves more grace. Perhaps we would realize that brave faces aren’t always the bravest things to share. Perhaps we would realize that authenticity is the bravest of them all.
 Life can be messy and crazy, but doesn’t it seem less messy and crazy when you get glimpses into other peoples real life and not just their highlight reel?
Yeah, I thought so. 😉
So, today, dear Mamas, while you’re coming down from the high that was Mother’s days weekend (or perhaps you’re feeling underwhelmed by the lack of fuss that was directed at you) please know that you are not alone in your struggles.
Please know though, that giving your best is all that matters.
Please know that you are amazing AS IS. 
Please know that even if you don’t have it all together that that’s not what matters. The physical messes will pile up, the dishes will not wash themselves and the laundry mountain will always be there, but the little ones in your life wont notice and they wont always be here, at home, with you.
Please know, dear Mama, that your struggles are what unites every Mama everywhere, because they are shared. We all have the same daily arguments, frustrations, disappointments and struggles and no one actually has a perfect life. Despite what we tell our friends on Instagram.
So, today dear Mama, I hope when you look around your life and see the things that you want to tweak and change, I hope you know that you are capable beyond belief and can accomplish all the things you set your mind to.
I hope that you realize that we all have our struggles and issues, and that when we share them with others, just a tiny bit, the blinds get drawn just a wee little bit too. We are no longer alone in our struggles when we let others in. Sharing our real life, shouldn’t be that hard. 
Im not saying share your life story with everyone you meet while running errands, but a little vulnerability with trusted friends can go a long way.
I’m realizing as the years go by that real life should be celebrated, and currently THESE pictures depict our real life. Its not perfect, we aren’t perfect, IM not perfect but this time in our lives is a perfect time to embrace and enjoy.
Transparency can change the false perception of perfection that we strive for.
So, smile at that girl in the library with the screaming children and tell her you’ve been there. Feel free to let your guard down with the woman at the hardware store who cant choose a paint color because her children are jumping out of the cart and she’s terribly distracted. Offer a kind word, a helping hand, a wink or a joke. Go out of your way today to let someone know that life is messy for all of us. 
Authenticity is encouraging.
We could all use a a reality check while we journey through this weary and extremely blessed road called mother hood.
Because real life is a messy blessing.

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  • Unknown
    May 13, 2016 at 11:44 am

    What a great post for all those Mom's who are in the thick of it right now. My babies are all out and on their own now and when I look back I don't remember the bad times (there were LOTS) I just remember the good ones. I remember reading bedtime stories every night although sometimes I just wanted to skip it. I would give anything to be reading those stories now. (still have the books, just waiting for the grandkids) I know I was busy all the time, but I just remember the fun I had with them as we went through our days. I remember all of the friends that were at the house all the time (couldn't they go to someone else's house for a change) and miss all those kids so much. I remember the old house we renovated, but I don't think of the work, I remember the fun we had in those rooms. It does all go by so fast, try to enjoy it all and not sweat the small stuff that you really won't remember.

  • Marilyn Evans
    May 14, 2016 at 12:58 pm

    Thank you so much for this. I saw your IG post a few days back and as I got up this Saturday morning contemplating all the things I didn't get done this week I thought I'd check out your blog for a little pep talk. Loved it. Love you energy.

  • Jessica Levasseur
    May 14, 2016 at 7:44 pm

    Love this Bethany 🙂 vey true!