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1 In Parenting

A Mothers Musings

Hey, friends, I will get right to it, I have a confession to make. 
You see, I cant figure out if it is because we are having the kind of rainy and dreary weather that is reminiscent of England or, if it is because it is a Wednesday, or because I have never been so exhausted in my life, or because our house is overflowing with unfinished projects. Heck, it could be because of all of the above. 
But, the truth is, I have given up.
I have given up on mopping the perpetually filthy floors and picking up the trails of pajamas and socks that lead to more messes of bright blue crusty toothpaste finger paintings on all flat surfaces. I have given up on maintaining this house and the unfinished projects, because I have slowly come to realize a great life lesson.

It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.
The Nester, so eloquently uses that slogan as her calling card and most recently has written a beautiful book filled with thoughts pertaining to the above quote. And she nailed it.
I sent my mother this picture a few days ago. This is the current status of our living room area.
Yuck. 
I know.
I told her I couldn’t spend my day off this week hanging out and having girl time with her, because I had to tackle this disaster that has been sitting in the middle of our home since last Sunday night. 
Count those days, people, it is a lot.
If I am honest, I sent the picture to her to show her how bad I had it, how much I had on my plate and how much I still needed to accomplish along with working full time and being a mama. In that moment, I felt defeated and swamped and I wanted someone to make me feel validated for being frustrated.
And then, in a split second I realized how beautiful this mess was.
It is a few days later now, and I have come to realize that this is just real life. I have also completely thrown out the idea of having a perfectly staged home at this moment.
 Not because I don’t want to live in a beautiful show room home, or because I think there is something wrong with keeping a clean house, no, I value cleanliness and organization, but just because, this mess here is only a part of our home, and it will not last forever. This mess doesn’t define me as a bad housekeeper or an awful mother, this mess actually does the opposite.
This mess proves that I have ignored organizing these boxes of baby clothing and grown out toys, and instead, after a long day at work, I am prioritizing. For a self proclaimed perfectionist, THIS is huge!
I posted this picture (and following text) to Instagram last night.
‘These
are the busiest days of our lives. I’ve never worked more hours, wiped
more sticky hands and faces, had as many countless laundry mountains
around us, served as many sandwiches instead of homemade meals, turned
my eye from a few too many messy bathrooms, forgotten to sign so many
school sheets and homework books, cared less about making babies make
beds and YET I am loving THESE times. Rooms can wait to be cleaned and
goodness knows laundry and emails will always be begging for my
attention, but these three, with their sand which devouring ways and
their sticky faces, don’t care about all of the “busy”. They just want
THIS. Their little eyes don’t see the unwashed dishes and the magically
appearing dust bunnies hopping about, they just see me, and they want me
to see them back. Busy, is no excuse to not be present. My
perfectionist side is learning that everything else takes the back seat
in life, and these three will always take their spot riding front and center with me. The music I play for them during this ride of life will
set the tone for their memories, and I want to play their favorite kind.
I want us to dance, sway and bop our heads along, ultimately making the
best memories, while we only see each other.” 
And, I meant every single word then and now and for forever.

I hope it resonates deep in you as well.
I now know that those 10 plus boxes stuffed haphazardly full of baby clothing, smack dab front and center in our living room, is actually the most beautiful sight around. Though sunsets seem prettier with their shades of pinks, this mess that is staring me down in my living room like a steep mountain I am not prepared to climb, is, in actuality, prettier than a week of sunsets. 
This mountain represents my babies first years on earth. These boxes have newborn hats and scratch mittens in their depths, they have nursing blankets that wiped up baby spit and mama tears, they hold babies first shoes and stained bibs and they are filled to overflowing with the realization that we have been blessed with three little lives. 
Beyond that as well, this mess is what many mothers world wide pray for every night.
Shoes.
Not just one pair for their babies bare feet, but two and three and four and more.
This mess is one blessed mess and that thought grows deeper in my heart every time I pass by it. 
I thought I would share these simple musings today, to encourage you. It doesn’t matter where you are in your day, how much you need to accomplish before work is done, or bedtime comes, or whatever, the truth is, there is always a blessing hiding within our messes. 
Always. 
There is something we can learn through them, if we look hard enough, if we stop focusing on the tasks and start looking at what life is teaching us, we can learn from the annoying and tedious parts of our lives. 
Don’t be dismayed Mamas, children really do not notice perfection or lack there of, they just see the beauty in the attention, time, and words we share with them. 
Lets do more of that today.
 Lets set the tone for others, lets play their favorite songs and together, lets sing those songs at the top of our lungs.
 

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  • Ruth Rosenblum
    May 1, 2014 at 4:41 pm

    You are a wonderful young woman and a amazing mother. Your writing is profound and so meaningful. You did good!