Life Update: Choosing Gratitude.

Have you ever looked at someone and wondered how they could be so happy when you find yourself struggling?

You might be surprised that I can answer a BIG GIANT Y-E-S to that question.

2019, on paper, hasn’t been the best for us. It started off with a bang on New Year’s Eve with a broken oven when we were expecting a house full of guests and food that needed cooked. 

In January our dryer broke and our car too.

From February to April our beloved 13 year old dog was consistently sick and then devastatingly passed.

On Mother’s Day eve I got in a car accident with the kids and subsequently destroyed the side of my husbands beloved truck. The other driver fled.

In June, my son got an infection in his foot that was so terrible it has left permanent damage.

My laptop and all of my work for the entire year, vanished. 

In July, a day after our vacation, our sweet rescue kitty died in the night. 

In August our youngest went to the ER and was put in a cast and has since had half a dozen doctors/specialist appointments.

It’s September now, and tomorrow he goes for an MRI to determine the level of care he will need going forward. 

Every SINGLE month this year there has been something. 

Setbacks. 

Disappointments. 

Heart break.

But do you know what? There have also been choices. 

We get to choose where our focus lies. And more so, not speaking for anyone else, I GET TO.

I’ve chosen positivity instead of pity. I’ve chosen perspective instead of doing what I want to do and complain all day long to anyone who will listen.

Pity would have been easier. 

It would have been effortless to share the pictures of my son in a cast, hobbling every where, instead of editing what I share about him on social media. It would have been easy to turn the camera around and whine and complain about the stresses I was shouldering. It would have been nothing to mention my disappointment and gain sympathy. 

But really, through the things we’ve been dealing with this year, I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that this life of mine is what I prayed for, hoped for and that through the disappointments we are all ALSO extremely blessed, chosen and cared for by our Creator. 

I also know, I’ve been equipped to have the mindset to embrace positivity and to handle all that’s come and all that is to come. 

I’ve been struggling you guys. But I also know I have been absolutely blessed to have this life and to share it with the ones I love. 

Even if setbacks are annoying. 

Here’s how I like to look at this past year INSTEAD. 

In January? We had a house full of friends and family. How blessed are we!

In the spring we said goodbye to a dog that FILLED our life up for thirteen years with so much amazing JOY!

This Mother’s Day my three babies and I celebrated together and none of us had ANY injuries from our car accident.

In June, we had access to antibiotics for my son’s foot and health care providers that did their best. 

My laptop and all my work may have vanished, but it’s meaningless and superficial stuff and nothing I’m taking to my grave anyways.

Before our cat unexpectedly passed, we spent the whole day previous, loving on him, grooming him, telling him how handsome he was and making him comfortable for what ended up being his last day with us. What a gift to know he went knowing he was adored!

In August we grew as a family. I learned to advocate better for my children, I grew strength and perseverance. I grew a back bone. I also got to piggy back my son around town and have him tell me “You are the strongest mom ever!” I got the honour of rubbing his feet each night, comforting him with my touch, and spending more hands on quality time with him.

Tomorrow I will accompany my son for an MRI where we don’t know the outcome and it is scary. BUT man-oh-man we are so blessed to live in a country with amazing health care. And we are geographically blessed to live near an amazing team at McMaster in Hamilton! We are so lucky to have access to such state of the art facilities and talented care givers! Aren’t we so blessed to be living in a day and time when MRIs are actually a thing?

This year has had it’s ups and downs. But I’m going to continue to focus on the good. To be someone who shares positivity and fun. To be a mom and wife who notices the blessings along the journey. 

After all, next year isn’t promised, neither is tomorrow. 

So you better believe, when tomorrow comes,  we are going to get up, be thankful for all that we DO have, pray like we never have before and one of us is going to lay as still as he’s ever laid before and we are all going to hope that the best is yet to come. 

Positive perspective. 

Gratitude.

Both of these, allow you to change what you HAVE to endure and turn your “have to live throughs”  into gifts you get to learn from. 

I think in October we are going to learn to let go, trust and to be those people who inspire others to choose happy.

❤️