Remember how I told you three months ago that we were busy working on our master closet makeover?
Yeah, well….this little lady had other plans.
Meet, Chelsea.
After a family discussion, we decided to name her so that we could stop referring to the little vermin as “the little vermin” “that pesky raccoon”and, my personal favorite, “the evil-sounding-garbage-rooting-attic-destroying-nest-making fugitive.”
You see, a few weeks ago we heard a commotion that sounded much like a three year old doing gymnastics in our attic. It turns out that Chelsea, large with child/children, had been strolling by our home one evening, minding her own business until she suddenly went into labor. She must have looked left and right and decided that we were the family whose lives she wanted to make exciting, whose sleep she wanted to disturb, whose attic she wanted to destroy, and whose closet reno she wanted to put on hold.
So, she did what all nocturnal pregnant fugitives do and she scaled our brick home with ease and simply busted out the metal flashing of our roof and then climbed in safe and sound. She wasted no time making a huge commotion/ building herself a nest and then loudly birthed, what sounds like, half a dozen little hissing baby raccoons.
What does this have to do with our closet reno you ask??
Well, let me explain.
We have attic access through our master closet and through a weird little opening on our daughters bedroom wall. (See above) This unsightly access point is typically disguised with a giant painted canvas, by the way. ‘Cause we are sly like that.
Since we took pity on the new Mama, we wanted to give her a few days to recover from her loud and seemingly traumatic birth experience, so we let her rest up for a bit.
But then, Chelsea started leaving her babies unattended in our house and going out on the town in the evenings.
Now, Im not one to judge a new mother, but I mean, between you and me, she is only making messes around here and keeping everyone up at night, so it was quickly decided that we needed to give Chelsea some eviction papers.
We believe in treating animals with love and respect so first we decided to try to catch Chelsea with dog treats inside an enticing cage we borrowed from friends. But, Chelsea and her squealing babies have a developed pallet and she prefers to pick up dinner when she goes out on the town each night, from our wet garbage can that lives at the side of our house.
Im assuming she loved those pizza crusts from the weekend and that quinoa salad my children refused to eat.
Chelsea is cool like that.
She doesn’t discriminate against the food I make. She simply climbs into the city authorized bins (our city of Guelph has a bin garbage system where we separate our waste products from our recyclables and our other garbage.) and fetches whatever deliciousness she can carry back to her hissing sweethearts.
Since our closet reno is completely destroyed due to the shelving coming down to make our raccoon sighting, attic access and cage checking easier….I have no pretty closet pictures to show you.
Though that pic above I am pretty proud of. 😉
I read that racoons dont like loud music and lighting, they prefer darkness and quiet since it allows them to sleep during the day time, but, you know what they say about payback, right? It can be bad. Today Chelsea and her sweet hissing hooligans are getting payback for keeping me up for a week straight. Nothing crazy, except for some bright lights and some slipped in speakers that are currently blaring house music so loudly that I guarantee we may get noise complaints.
Your mat leave is up little lady.
It is time to pack it up and out and leave as swiftly as possible.
Im crossing my fingers that she will get the hint that she is not welcome anymore. If not, we are going to be the unfortunate family that has to pay the big bucks for a racoons maternity stay in their unsuspecting attic.
Which for some reason has me remembering these lyrics:
“If there’s something strange
in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters! Racoon-busters!
If there’s something weird
and it don’t look good
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters! Racoon-busters!”
in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
If there’s something weird
and it don’t look good
Who you gonna call?
Since our closet reno isn’t happening for awhile and because this loud music really puts a kick in ones step, I have decided to beautify our dining room while we wait for pest control to call us back.
If you follow me on Pinterest then you know I am obsessed with all things molding. After we added trim work to our upstairs family room, I have been itching to add molding in other parts of our home.
Well now we have the chance!!
#makinglemonade
And this poor baby dog cant wait for animal control to call us back as she is as restless as Chelsea and her babies.
In the mean time, we will be working in our dining room, but if you have any advice on how to politely remove creatures from ones attic, PLEASE dont hesitate to pass on your advice in the comments.
I will love you forever and ever and ever and ever and ever….
virtualme
April 27, 2015 at 8:08 pmFirst, yikes. I love babies more than most people but this type of baby not so much. Second, I loved the humor in this post. I so could not write about this situation with such humor but I certainly enjoyed reading yours. Good luck with that while situation. I hope they take the hint and scram.
marty (A Stroll Thru Life)
April 27, 2015 at 9:42 pmOh my word, I can't imagine. Hopefully someone will come and collect them. This sounds pretty awful.
Rustic Maple Elizabeth
May 3, 2015 at 8:58 pmI had to laugh with the way you told this story, although I know that raccoons in the attic are not a laughing matter. Hoping the music and lights works. We (and my sister's family) live just east of you, further along Highway 7. Might be a relative of Chelsea living in my sister and bil's attic. Our oldest son dropped a humane trap and they are waiting to see if it works. Would freak.me.out. Your little decor helper is cute.