It is the official last week of Summer here.
That means in a few short days the hubs and I will have two children in school.
I cannot even believe that.
Being a mother is complex, deep and always challenging. I find myself going between feelings of excitement for this next stage of life and then embracing the grief that floods in after the expectancy dwindles.
This will be a pivotal time for our babies. Particularily my little girl who is starting school for the first time and subsequently her and I being apart for the first time in two and a half years.
Our family will forever look back on the September pictures of our babies burdened under big back packs with big smiles painted across their faces. This is the time of year, and the time in our journey, where our lives separate.
What used to be our days and our memories will now be theirs and mine.
I wont know how my little girl is feeling after we wave goodbye to her on her first day of school. I will, however, hold back my own tears until I am home and it is safe enough to let them flood the dam I have bravely kept in tact.
It will be sad and amazing all at once.
Isn’t their first day of school exactly what we parents have been preparing them for since the moment we first held them in our arms? Wasn’t it our goal to love them hard and to teach them all that we know, so that when the time came, they would be confident and prepared to venture out from underneath our protective shadow?
They are following their own path.
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| Photo courtesy of me. |
So, despite the anxiety that comes along with this natural parental separation, I am trying to keep calm.
I am attempting to focus on the fact that my babies are well prepared for life outside of my protection. They are sweet and funny, creative and brilliant – all rolled into one. They will be making their own friends, choices and memories and happily skipping down their OWN path of life.
I wont be there to make them say “please” and “thank you” but I know that they will remember on their own. I wont wipe away their milk mustaches at lunch or their tears – that I hope don’t fall – but I will pray for their teachers something fierce. I wont smile at their make believe stories through out the day, or the way they interact with little friends, but I know, later on, they will share with me the stories they find the most important and I will listen with a big ole’ smile spreading across my heart.
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| Summer 2013 path walking, stone skipping adventures. |
I have come to accept, like every parent tearfully does, that I wont get to spend every second beside them but they will always be on my mind and in my heart, no matter the space or distance between us.
And besides, it is only for eight hours a day. No biggie, right?
Right?
Right, Of course.
Eight hours is nothing.
I wonder how many Kleenexes are needed for an eight hour separation?
Costco sells Kleenex right?
I’m sure they do….
I think a bulk pack will do, don’t you think?
Like, eight boxes for eight hours??
Ya, totally.
I am totally gonna be okay.
I will have Kleenex and coffee and day time television.
I will survive.
This weekend is the last official weekend of the Summer of 2013 and I am gonna prep the garage for my Kleenex hoarding, while I continue to pray for these little ones, and while I continue to feel blessed to prepare these babies for this first step of independence.
Their paths are waiting.
They are ready.
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| Our three babies. |
Now to go find those dark sunglasses and the waterproof mascara…and maybe an umbrella for the unsuspecting parents in the school parking lot who are being surprised with front row tickets to the water works about to be put on by yours truly.
Until then, I’m saying lots of prayers and snuggling these sweet babes of ours. We have been so blessed by them and it is time for them to go out and bless the world – or maybe just the JK class room. 😉
