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Little letters {To my daughter on your seventh birthday}

Little Miss A,

There are so many things I want to tell you, so many ways I could count the ways I love you, but I’m not sure a whole life time will fit it all in. Today you are seven year old and you have your whole amazing life before you. Quite often I find myself selfishly praying that I get to see it all, that I get to grow old with you and that you never know a day without my love. 

I don’t want to miss a second of loving you.

I also don’t want to miss any of these memories we are making.

The days are flying by however and I wonder if when I am grey haired and I reach for your sweet hand, like we always find ourselves doing, that I will be able to accurately recall these busy love filled days. I hope that I am able to remember you as you are today, seven years old, and that I am able to remind you of how you have always been completely adored.

So my hope is that this love letter and the others I have written you over the years will serve as something you can look back on with admiration at where you have come from and how you have grown.

Truth be told, I am in shock that the last seven years have whipped by us. They have been a blur and yet details about you and your life and personality stand out so raw and beautifully it is as if the world is in fast motion and yet you are at the center of it, day in and day out, calm as can be, easy going, deeply caring and unscathed by the crazy that surrounds us.

You are a sister to two boys after all and your parents never stop creating and changing the home you live in. There is a lot of crazy around you. This past year was a busy one and out of all of us it was actually quite difficult for you.

We moved houses and you reminded us all, as you do when you are persistent and wish to be heard, that you didn’t want to move from your childhood bedroom where all your memories lived. You are deeply sentimental for a newly seven year old little lady and I often think that an old soul lives within you. You have always been that way. From birth you had a peace about you and a knowledge that only recently became a little know-it-all-ness….but of course only with your brothers and when you are trying to point out the right way to do something or the faster way to do something or the better way to do something. You are quite possibly a quiet genius. I suppose that makes total sense since you are very intuitive while silently soaking in the world around you. You are both parts meek and bold and I dig that about you. You can be poised and pretty much perfect in nature and then you throw us a curve ball when you are really passionate about something because there is no way of stopping your drive and enthusiasm.

Your independence is admirable. I often say you really didn’t need parenting. Even from an infant you were a complete joy to be around. You have never been demanding and you have always been easily soothed or appeased. You enjoy the simple things in life and remark about them too, like how you love when the sun soaks into your skin on a hot summers day, how you appreciate guzzling down a big glass of water after running around the yard with your brothers, how you love the smell of my pillow and freshly laundered clothing, how you marvel at our kitty cats soft whiskers, how you comment on every single pink sunset and how you’ve decided that frogs smell like grass and grass smells like heaven and how the whole world is a gorgeous place through your eyes

You notice the little things in life and especially the little creatures around you too. You dote on our pets and loved hand raising baby chicks this spring. You were guaranteed to always be snuggling a chicken or walking around the house carrying our kitty like an infant. Your loving giving and caring side is also shown to your little brother in many picture worthy moments. Although he is the same size as you at this point in life, you don’t seem to notice. You don’t hesitate to pick him up when he falls, to help him get dressed in the morning, to help him locate his missing shoe (every day!!) and you even brush his little teeth for him. We call you “little Mama” and you are quite happy to be just that.

You love helping with household chores and your most absolute favorite thing to help with is organizing. You can’t keep a clean room for the life of you, but you do love a good messy cupboard to sort. You are much like your Mama in this way. Creativity blooms every where you go and it is very difficult for creatives to also be neat and tidy at all times. Your bedroom floor is littered with art supplies and markers and a plethora of papers. Your newest obsession is making art collections and you are pretty darn good at it if I do say so myself. I am particularly partial to your abstract line of paintings that you choose to complete with bright colors smack dab in the middle of stark white paper. They are graphic and unusual and we all take turns guessing what they remind us of when you are done and proudly showing them off. Your collection of dress designs actually makes me tear up with pride. I can’t really wrap my mind around the fact that a little girl that was made from part of little ole me me can have such an eye for texture and color and style. We talk  a lot about you designing a real life outfit one day and with your determination, and ingenuity I know you will find a way.

This year you turn seven and you are still in the middle of the innocence and sweetness of childhood. You value the company of adults though and love listening and being a part of grown up conversations . You spent a good part of your recesses in grade one walking and talking with your teachers. When I asked you why you preferred their company over playing with girls your own age, you said you had “lots in common with them”, and girlfriend, I think you do too. You are wise beyond your years, appreciate the selection at Homesence and can plan a mean party even if it’s just a pretend one where we set up the table and cut flowers from the garden and it’s just for you and me and your doll collection. Often you’re my little sidekick and I’m honored to have you following me around the house and around town.

I love you more than you’ll ever know and I am so very proud of who you are. The funny thing is, I believe it wasn’t really because of all I have done to mother you because you never really needed much guidance. Your heart is a beauty. You are too, but I’ll never stop telling you that a pretty heart is better than your outward beauty. But goodness me, you ARE adorable. You have freckles right now that dust your nose and make your green eyes stand out. You lost your first tooth recently but still have that unique gap in your top teeth that I think is the cutest little detail about your seven year old little girl face. I know you will change a lot this year. I know more teeth will be tucked under pillows and you’ll leave detailed notes on every door in the house pointing the tooth fairy in the right direction, because you often snuggle up with your Mama or bunk up with your brothers because sleeping alone is no fun.

There will be lots of inevitable changes this year but I want to always remember your hilarious little girl giggle, your fine wispy hair, the way your wee limbs are so slight but can carry your own body weight in the form of your little brother around, the way you speak matter-a-factly, the way you prance around in frilly dresses and tutus with leggings or jeans with knocked out knee holes in them underneath so you can be discreet when you show off with the cartwheels you’ve mastered.

I want to remember your little hand in mine when you sneak into my bed in the night and the way you rub the hair off my face and kiss me on the nose. The way you love everything and everyone around you so deeply that you inspire me to do so too.

My Audrey, my girl, my sidekick, my daughter, my friend, today on your seventh birthday and forever and ever I hope you know how much you are adored. And if you ever need reminded, I hope you can look back at these words and know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you were one of the three best decisions your Daddy and Mommy ever made. You’ve changed our lives for the better in every way and we are grateful to God for this front row seat to the love story that is your childhood.

Much love my girl,

Mama

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